Ok, so Claire suggested a few bloggers answer the ‘What being a fat woman is really like’ questions from the recent Cosmopolitan article.
Loads of plus size bloggers asked to be involved including me…o below I have answered all of the questions that were asked.
I think its a great idea and a really good way for us bloggers and to get to know each other and for our readers to get an insight into what we are like.
*I will be linking all the other bloggers who took part below*
So here we go!!
How do you feel when other women around you complain about feeling/being fat?
I hear it so much it just makes me roll my eyes and I now refrain from commenting. I am very confident at my size (30/32) So it doesn’t really bother me. I do however look around to gauge other peoples reactions to the comments. Mostly its looks of horror like ‘you cant say that around her, she is way fatter’ lol. I just don’t think people consider other peoples self image when complaining about their own looks.
How has your body image changed since high school? College?
My body image has changed greatly since I was in College. I was very unhappy with my size at that age. The size I was in my late teens is not completely dissimilar to the size and shape I am now. What a lot of people don’t know is that I gained a lot of weight after leaving education and have lost it again, so being this size again is wonderful to me. I don’t know if it is just compared to how I was when I was bigger or if it is because I am older and a lot more comfortable with myself in general. Either way there is a world of difference in how I see myself now approx. 12 years on. I accept my body for exactly what it is, I wear what I like and act how I like and I think that’s the way it should be.
Have you tried dieting? What happened?
I remember being put on my first diet at the age of 11 years old.
As an adult I have tried various diets but nothing has ever stuck. I have lost and gained bit and bobs here and there but never had a substantial weight loss until about 3-4 years ago.
I do believe that you have to really want to lose weight for yourself if you are ever to succeed. I am very well aware of what needs to be done to lose weight and I think its a common misconception that fat people don’t have a clue how to lose weight when I think a lot of fat people know better than anyone. I am at a stage in my life where I am the most happy I have ever been, I am not at my biggest or smallest but am definitely my most content.
Do you think in your case your weight is partly or entirely genetic?
I will be completely honest here and say I don’t know. All of the adult women in my family on both sides are fat. Growing up that’s what all the women looked like. I don’t know if I am genetically predisposed to being fat or not. It is shown everyday that people can lose weight and I am strongly behind the statement that if you have a problem with being overweight then you should make the necessary steps to get to where you personally feel most comfortable and happy. I also think that people need to get the idea out of their heads that all fat people are unhappy
Do you consider yourself healthy? Have there been instances where people assumed you were unhealthy?
No, I don’t consider myself to be healthy, but that is not solely to do with my weight, I am a lot healthier than I was a couple of years ago and I am very happy about that. As I get older I feel I will need to pay closer attention to my health as with anyone else.
It is expected that people will assume that all of us fat people are unhealthy because that’s what they have been taught, despite the fact that you cant see someone’s health just by looking at them, some idiots think that Fat is a health condition in and of itself.
Are your parents both supportive of you at the weight you’re at? Have they always been?
My mum is a plus size woman as her mother was and so on.
Both my parents were concerned about my weight when I was younger and tried everything they could to help me lose weight whether that be taking me to a slimming class or just voicing their concerns about health risk etc.
When I was quite a bit heavier than I am now my whole family had a lot to say about it, but like I said earlier no amount of interference from others will make it happen unless you make the decision yourself to make things happen and that goes with many things in life.
At 29 and the weight I am now I have the full support of my whole family but I think that’s mainly because they can see how happy I am and that outweighs anything else and I feel exactly the same I’m just really enjoying life, love and cake…everything else can wait til later,
How do you think retailers can improve clothes for plus-size people?
I don’t really know what to say here because if I was asked this a few years ago it would have been a page full of complaints, but I think plus size fashion has come a really long way in recent years.
I think more companies are getting on board the plus size wagon and shopping is a lot of fun whereas a few years ago it was an absolute nightmare. especially for girls that are at the larger end of plus size. The only problem I have is companies doing plus size ranges up to a size 24, I feel like if your gonna take the plunge and offer bigger sizes you need to go all in. There is nothing worse than hearing about a new brand offering plus sizes then discovering they are just not plus enough. Saying that though over the Christmas season I was looking for a party dress and I had so many options I had to make a dress shortlist, that can only be good news in my book.
Do you think plus-size women are judged differently than plus-sized men are? How?
I think there is a stigma attached to being fat in general, but I do think women get the worst of it when it comes to fat discrimination. Big men up to a certain point are seen as manly and when women are even slightly over weight they are just fat. In terms of relationships and finding a partner I think society believes bigger men are more attractive than bigger women and therefore struggle less to find partners. I feel that large men have the same insecurities that a lot of large women have and I think the lack of confidence plays a big part in how attractive they feel and how attracted people are to them.
Do you think there’s an assumption made/stereotype that exists about plus-size people? How would you respond to it?
People assume that fat people are all lazy slobs that spend the majority of their time sitting around eating. I think that’s ridiculous. I know a lot of fat people that have great jobs and great families and have achieved wonderful things in their lives. but more importantly I know a lot of fat people who are genuinely really happy with exactly who they are and I think that lends to doing great things and having the confidence to do whatever they want to in life. I am fat and I work in the beauty industry, an industry that I was told that I wouldn’t be easily accepted into. I work on my feet and travel all around for work. This is what makes me hate peoples assumptions because I shouldn’t have to explain what I do to change peoples minds about me.
Do you think there’s ever a right way or time to express concern about someone’s weight?
(might be a bit controversial but….) Yes
I have a lot of people that I care about and If there was something that I was genuinely concerned about I would mention it to them, that doesn’t mean I would be nasty about it or try to make them feel small, but I do think certain relationships are solid enough that two people can have an honest and frank conversation. That being said I don’t think there would need to be an intervention unless that person was seriously putting themselves at risk.
What are the worst things people have said to you about your body?
I have never really experienced any major bullying, the odd comment in a nightclub, the old whispering ‘omg look at her’, ‘fat bitch’ etc… No real specific instance that has stuck in my mind but yeah for years I was very aware of the stares and little comments.
How did you respond?
When I was younger peoples comments used to really upset me to the point that I just wanted to stay home to avoid it.
I wish I knew then what I know now, and that is that they never really mattered. I don’t know if this makes sense but I think I get those comments less now because I carry myself differently and I think that they can tell that I love who I am so it would kinda be pointless.
When comments are made when I’m alone or out with plus size friends I kinda just giggle to myself at how immature they are. I kinda feel bad that they aren’t as content with their lives as I am.
What have people said (or do you wish they’d say) that would compliment your body or appearance?
People say nice things about my body and appearance all the time (god that sounds so conceited) but again I think its because of the way I carry myself. I am very confident and that translates in the way I dress and do my makeup etc.. I love getting dressed up and going out, what girl doesn’t like to look pretty.
Do you find yourself hanging out with women who are closer to your size?
I have fat friends and thin friends. Having recently gotten into plus size fashion blogging I have been meeting more and more fat girls and I love it. One of my closest friends is a fat girl who wears the same dress size as me. She is amazing and I love her dearly and we would totally still be friends if she was skinny but being able to share wardrobes is the best bonus ever!!! lol
How has your weight affected your sex life, if at all?
Not at all lol.
It may have prevented me from starting til I was 21, but since then not at all.
When you’ve been single, has your weight affected your dating life?
No, when I was single I has full length body pictures on any online dating profiles and when meeting people on nights out etc. they could plainly see what I look like.
I actually really enjoyed dating and meeting new people, my weight was never an issue as they always knew exactly what they were getting. The only thing my weight would have affected is the types of guys that were attracted to me.
Do you feel weird if the guy you’re with only dates larger women?
I have very strong views when it comes to this subject. It really irks me when women say that guys who only date big women have a fetish. I think that’s ridiculous when its perfectly normal for a man to prefer blondes or women with bigger busts. A woman who has a preference for a man with a beard is not seen as having a fetish. It is purely about preference. I have dated men who prefer big girls and I have dated men who have never dated a plus size woman before me. I actually prefer men who are more attracted to bigger girls as they have seen it all before and can appreciate all of you and they are no longer worried about their friends and families opinions.
Do you feel weird if he’s only dated slimmer women before you?
I have dated men who have never been with a plus size woman before and I must admit have been a little worried about surprising them with just how much woman I actually am but all that goes away once you get to know each other better. I would hate to wonder if the person likes me so much that they would put up with my weight. My boyfriend has a preference for big girls, always has, that’s just his type. I want someone to love every single thing about me and I have that.